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Have you ever explained something clearly, only for the other person to keep responding with, “Huh?”
We get it, it’s frustrating—and it’s a sign that the proper communication isn’t really happening.
Interpersonal communication is one of the most important skills we use in daily life, whether in school, at work, or in our personal relationships. Many of us assume that as long as we’ve spoken clearly, we’ve communicated well. But true communication goes beyond simply getting words across. It depends heavily on active listening—the ability to understand not just what is said, but what is meant.
A key part of active listening is to pay attention to non-verbal cues. A large portion of meaning is conveyed through tone of voice, facial expressions, and body language. When we focus only on words, we miss these signals entirely. For instance, someone’s hesitation, eye contact, or posture may reveal discomfort or uncertainty even if their words suggest otherwise. By becoming more aware of these cues, we not only understand others better, but also become more conscious of what we're communicating without realising it.
Another important factor is self-awareness. Many of our communication habits are shaped unconsciously by our upbringing, culture, and past experiences. Without reflection, we may repeat unhelpful patterns—such as being overly defensive or confrontational—without knowing why. Self-awareness helps us recognise when our reactions come from personal bias rather than the the other person's intent, allowing us to respond more thoughtfully to them instead of emotionally.
Empathy also plays a crucial role in active listening. Empathy isn’t just about understanding how someone feels; it’s about seeing things from their perspective. When we approach conversations with empathy, we stop focusing solely on what we want to say next, and start focusing on what the other person is trying to say. This requires patience, withholding judgement, and sometimes simply staying silent to fully process what others are saying.
Lastly, active listening improves with practice! It’s not a skill mastered overnight. Small habits—like resisting the urge to mentally prepare a reply while the other person is still talking—can make a big difference over time. Observing good communicators and reflecting on our own interactions can also help us improve over time.
In the end, improving our interpersonal communication skills is a lifelong process. By paying attention to non-verbal cues, developing self-awareness, practising empathy, and committing to active listening, we can reduce misunderstandings and build more meaningful, respectful connections with others.
This is a 3-part series of articles on interpersonal communication for youth, contributed by Lyu Yicheng, a student at Catholic High.
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